
If you have ever taken any type of formal dance instruction, then you probably have at least thought about attending a social dance. For a lot of people the idea of dancing in a big crowd can be daunting to the point of preventing them from using their new dance skills on the social floor. If you are ready to take your dancing from practicing in front of your mirror at home (this used to be me!) to the next level, or if you already dance in public but want to feel more comfortable "gettin' down" in a crowd, then read on for 5 things you should know might make it a bit easier.
1) You are not the only nervous person in the room.
If dancing in front of a room full of people gives you the jitters, then you can guarantee it made most of the other dancers nervous at one point and time. This means they can all sympathize with you, and that some of them may still be shaking in their dance shoes. To distract yourself, find someone who looks as nervous as you feel and make a point to reach out to them. After chatting a bit, you will both feel better.
2) Not everyone is watching you, I promise!
Our greatest fear when social dancing seems to be that someone will see us mess up, *gasp*. But know this: unless you are leaping in the air and doing flips, chances are no one will be watching you. The people jamming on the dance floor are usually so into their partner and their own dancing that a clown carrying a monkey could walk by and they wouldn’t notice. The people taking a break on the side lines may be scanning the dance floor but rarely focus on one couple. Hopefully this doesn’t bruise your ego, but most people won’t be paying much attention to you unless they are actually dancing with you.
3) Don’t be afraid to ask!
“I don’t know that person, will it be weird to just walk up to them and ask?” “Is that person in an exclusive dance relationship?” “Is that person too advanced to dance with me?” These are the questions that race through our brains when we try to get up the nerve to ask someone to join us on the dance floor. While the answer could be yes to some of those questions occasionally, it’s still perfectly fine to ask! Part of the fun of social dancing is being able to dance with a person you have never met.
Experienced dancers love meeting new dancers and are usually pleased when you ask. A dancer is never too advanced to dance with a beginner. People who have been dancing for years know that they learn from dancing with all levels and love to share what they know with anyone who is willing. If someone thinks that they are above dancing with beginners, they are really missing out. A truely good dancer will be able to appreciate dancing with all levels.
As for the couples, they don’t typically come to social dances to dance only with each other. They do tend to like to dance their partner, so don’t ask them too very often, but it doesn’t hurt to grab them while their sweetie is dancing with someone else or taking a break.
4) It is okay to say no.
So what happens if you get asked to dance and you really don’t want to? Being at a dance you might feel pressured to dance with everyone that asks, all the time. But, it’s not uncommon for people to want to sit and watch some at their first social dance, and that’s okay. Just explain if that’s the case, that way they will know to come back and ask you at some other time. If it’s just that you need a breather, you can decline but let them know you would love to dance after a few more songs. If it is a style you are unfamiliar with, let them know that too. They may offer to show you how (which you should totally try!) or they can wait and dance a style you are comfortable with. Feel free to say no at any time, but do prepare yourself to be asked, potentially a lot! The only thing is - if you say “no” to one person, don’t say “yes” to someone else during the same song. That would make the first person feel pretty bad and might discourage them from asking people to dance in the future. So, feel free to take a rest, or sit and chat when you feel like it, just be considerate and no one will mind at all.
5) The ultimate goal is to let loose and have fun.
Sounds trite, I know, but it’s amazing how easy it is to forget sometimes. Dance is a sport and can be taken very seriously, which is awesome! The potential to learn and grow is always there and we never want our dancing to become stagnate. However, unless you approach partner dance as strictly competitive, there is a random social element that can not (and should not) be separated from partner dancing. You can never predict what will happen at a social dance: they are full of surprises, both glorious and messy. You can’t always predict what your partner will do, what the couple dancing next to you will do, what the music will do, and oddly enough, what you will do So, you may not always feel like a superstar while dancing but that’s ok. You will be able to connect with other people, distract yourself from all the pressures of life, laugh at yourself, meet some nice people, and if you’re are willing, have some fun.
Back to Top.
|